[2005-09-13 - 8:50 p.m.]

hum. so much for that.

you know, everyone has turned happy again all of a sudden. i thought the reason that i was sad, was because everyone else was sad. but now that they're seemingly happy, nothing has shifted.

& the thought dawns on me that i'm intentionally making myself unhappy in order to play off others' sympathy.

or that i just don't want to be alone and happy. that i want to find someone for me. yet, then i read a post by one of my best friends. talking about highschool love, and how it doesn't exist, how everyone spends so long trying to find it.

i think i agree, to an extent. i believe you can find love at any age, it's just that some are so desperate to find their first love that they mistaken someone they do care deeply for, but not that deeply.

i've never been in love. and i don't plan on doing so anytime soon.

it would be nice, though.